Monday, September 24, 2012

Remembering "That will be 200 CzK ... 500 ... 2000 ..."

Ah memories. How they sneak up on you at interesting times.

I am cleaning out my wallet - taking out the old cards, scanning them in for contacts, etc. and I come across some Czech Krona hidden away in my wallet. Why do I have Czech Krona in my wallet?? Well, you never know when you may meet a Czech officer of the law ....

:: Cue Music - Flashback to Prague ::

Ah, Prague.

Prague is a lovely old city. Lovely old bridges, lovely old churches and cathedrals. Lovely Mucha museums and lovely art. Just - well - Lovely.

Also a little bit corrupt ... in an lovely-old-Iron-Curtain kind of way.

We drove into Prague on a Friday and drove out on a Sunday. Remember this day. Sunday. The day that no courthouses are open.

Sunday, leaving the hotel, I forget to turn the headlights on. The sun is shining, it is a beautiful day, and I just did not think of it. I get around the corner of the block from the hotel, and am flagged over by a policeman. I roll down the window and say "yes?" He looks at me a moment, looks at the license plate again (which is German), then the following conversation ensues (in very broken, but very precise English, on his part):

Czech Cop: "I do not speak English well."
Me: OK.
C.C.: "You must drive with your lights on. This will be - at the most - 200 Krone."
Me: Ah. Yes, OK, so how do we then proceed with this?
(my lovely daughter chimes in from the back "Sprechen Sie deutsch?" - which is not so helpful at this stage)
Corrupt Czech Cop: "Ah, yes, this will be - at the most - 500 Krone".
Me: Excuse me? I thought I just heard you say 200?
C.C.C.: "Oh, did I say 200? My English is not so good, this will be - at the most - 2000 Krone."
Me: ?
Me: ?? ???
Me: Ah. Excuse me, I need to make a phone call, I do not carry that much cash.
(so I start to call my friend in Prague - just to give me time to think about this interesting development)
C.C.C.: "Please drive your car around this corner" (it is into a dead-end street).

I drive up. I turn off the car, I talk to my friend - he says "just keep talking English like a tourist and try to get out of it" well ... that was helpful ...

The C.C.C. ambles back up to the window ...
Me: I am sorry, I only have 300 Czech Krone (which is about $15 USD)
C.C.C.: *shrug* "OK, that will be, at most, 300 Krone"
Me: Thank you. I will need a receipt ...

All this time, living in Europe, I have heard about friends who have traveled into the former Eastern Bloc countries and having to come up with what amounts to a bribe for some obscure traffic law. I am perfectly willing to be a law-abiding citizen, and am willing to pay a fine for a traffic violation, but this was my first personal experience with a bribe. It pays (literally) to keep your head and not get emotional or upset about it. I am sure that, had I argued the point, the price to drive out of Prague that day would have been - at the most - 5000 Krone. And since it was Sunday (remember?) there was no way I could go talk to a judge or other officials to get it all sorted out. And of course, the C.C.C. was well aware of this.

However, since I drove away, paying $15 instead of $263, I think I came out ahead ... especially as we were at that moment carrying about 1000 additional Czech Krone for travel expenses. :-)

:: end flashback ::

Which explains why I STILL have about 400 CzK in my wallet ... because you never know ... you just never know ...

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